What's In A Circle?
Hi
What’s in a Circle?
We had a gathering in our new tepee the other night, a lovely circle of eight people. A fire in the center kept us warm in the early evening chill. My husband Rich, whose hard work over many months made the tepee a reality, started with his prayers for peace on earth. We went around the circle and each person said what was on the heart and in their mind. Many people commented on the tepee itself and how good it felt to be held inside that space.
The Circle is a Symbol
I love sitting in a circle with others. For me, the circle is a symbol of our innate equality. No one is at the front, ahead of the crowd, and no one is in the center, no star of the show. We all have an equal place at the table, and every presence and every voice is wanted and welcome. I could feel it, our togetherness. Sitting there I thought of western culture with our audiences in long rows all facing someone at the front behind a podium. Of course, there are many people who have important things to say that we can all learn from, but I thought to myself – we can learn just as well from people talking in a circle. In fact, maybe we learn better, because we learn not only what each person has to contribute, but we have the visceral experience of our closeness and equality. We make up the circle together, and the desire to be the most important person in the room simply disappears. The space itself opens us to each other.
Creating a Circle in Our Culture
I long for more circles here in America and around the world, where we listen to what everyone has to say, and we also have that incredible sense of belonging. There was something about the fire in the middle, too, giving light and heat to everyone without distinction, that brought out the very best in all of us, both our unique contributions and our shared humanity. They were inseparable, and it was impossible not to love one another.
We live in a culture that does not necessarily bring out the best in all of us, and perhaps that is in part due to our podium mentality and the competition it inspires to be the one in the limelight. There is nothing wrong with wanting our moment in the sun. It is, in fact, important that we are invited to express our gifts and strengths, our vulnerabilities and challenges.… if all others have the same opportunity. Can we bend our linear/podium thinking around a circle and create a new arc of engagement with each other?
A Simple Example
When my children were very little and attended a parent-run school, they started their day with a circle– Show and Tell. Every child had a turn, and it didn’t matter if they were talking about their birthday party, the funny thing their dog did, or their skinned knee. What mattered was how their faces lit up when they were welcomed, seen and heard, and when their little selves could feel that they were wanted and they belonged. It was so simple really, and so profound.
If We Could Do This Everywhere…
What if we could intentionally create the mentality of the circle everywhere– in our personal relationships, our schools, businesses, churches, community meetings (many people already do), and in our houses of government? What if the president him/herself was just part of the circle, and everyone who wanted to be heard was invited in to speak and deliberate and create policy and practice? What if we intentionally created the mentality of the circle as a way to bridge our great divides and work things out?
We can do this. If we can do it in our own lives, we can do it as a country and as a world. And the thing is, it feels so good and it leaves you wanting more.
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phyllis@phyllisleavitt.com
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